


Please Keep Holding On

by messedup



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Coma, Hospital, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:28:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23575405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messedup/pseuds/messedup
Summary: Callum´s injuries from the kidnapping have been worse than they all thought and when he goes into a coma Ben refuses to leave his bedside.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 10
Kudos: 62





	Please Keep Holding On

**Author's Note:**

> This is for @WuvWinchesterHugs, based on a request they made. Thank you again for that! <3 I know its not exactly what youve asked for, but I hope you like it anyway <3

Ben could have kicked himself. 

He had spend the last two – or was it three now? - days barely moving from the uncomfortable chair in the corner of the small hospital room, guilt eating away at him every passing second. His thoughts were spinning around in his head, a never ending loop of one question. 

_How could he have been so selfish?_

When Callum had been released from hospital, he had been worried of course. Asking him again and again if he was alright, if he was still hurting much. When they had laid in bed each night, he had lightly traced fingertips over bruises, kissed at purple-coloured skin. But Callum had assured him that everything was alright and he had been too focused on his own problems to see through it. Even though he could normally read his boyfriend like a book, he hadn´t seen what was really going on. He shouldn´t have believed him and let it go that easily. 

He should´ve realized.

Another tear fell down Ben´s cheek as he leaned forward to take Callum´s hand in both of his, pressing his lips to his palm, then his wrist again and again, needing the reassurance the steady beating of his pulse gave him.

\---

Callum faintly realized beeping noises around him. Everything was dark. He tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids felt too heavy. His limbs were weak, felt like they were cemented in place, unable for him to move. The only thing he could do was listen as a sudden voice reached his ear.

“I´m sorry. I´m so sorry.”, someone whispered right next to him. The voice sounded strained, filled with tears. But Callum would recognize it anywhere.

He wanted to reply, say something back – anything to reassure Ben, but he couldn´t. He didn´t think his mouth had ever been so dry before. 

“I wish I could swap places with you.” The words were followed by a snivel. “So... so you gotta wake up for me babe, yeah? Please.” 

Callum´s heart clenched as he heard Ben sob. He wanted nothing more than hold him close, tell him it was going to be alright. That they would be alright.

“I can´t loose you too, okay? Don´t make me loose you too.”, Ben continued. He pressed his lips against his wrist once more and Callum could feel the warmth of it as well as a tear falling onto his skin.

Trying to fight against his numbness, Callum was getting more and more frustrated with himself and the situation. He felt the exhaustion threatening to take him back under any second again, but he didn´t want to give into it. He needed Ben to know that he didn´t have to worry. He needed to take his fear away.

Suddenly there were more noises filling the room. A door opening maybe. Then footsteps.

“Ben.” Callum could make out another voice. It seemed too far away. “Ben.”

The sudden loss of contact when Ben´s lips moved away from his hand left Callum feeling cold. 

“Hey.” The voice sounded gentle, soothing although there was worry evident in it too. “How is he? Anything new?”

The silence that followed seemed to stretch out until it was broken by choked sound.

“No.”, Ben´s voice was barely audible. He sounded broken. “What if – what if he doesn´t wake up Lo? What if – I can´t -”

“Hey. Hey.”, Lola hushed him. “He will. I´m sure he will.”

Callum took all his strength together one last time, tried to at least close his fist around Ben´s hand still holding onto his. He felt like he had almost done it, when Ben pulled back. He could hear muffled sobs, only being able to guess what was going on. 

He wished nothing more than that he could be the one to hold Ben instead.

\---

When Callum finally fully came around, Ben refused to let him out of his sight. He had made a half-hearted attempt at giving him a telling-off for not saying how bad his injuries still were when he came out of hospital the last time, but he couldn´t put much force behind his words when all he felt was relief. 

Indescribable relief and gratitude that Callum was alive. 

So his words were lost between kisses and before he could stop himself declarations of _I was so worried about you, I thought I´d lost ya. I love you._

Callum had stared at him at his last words, unsure if he was still in a haze, imagining things, but the look on Ben´s face as he realized what he had said told Callum it was real. Tears were filling up his eyes as he repeated the words back to him.

When they were lying in their own bed together for the first time again it was warm and cozy. Ben had collected all the pillows he could find around the flat to make it as comfortable as possible for Callum. His boyfriend had only chuckled and made a remark about how exactly he thought they would fit in the bed when it was already completely filled with pillows. But he let him continue, let him take care of him in any way he wanted, because he knew Ben felt guilty, no matter how many times he had already assured him that he had nothing to feel guilty about. He would tell him again, as many times as he needed to hear it to let himself believe it, but for now they both just needed rest.

After a warm meal that they were both grateful for Lola brought over and a shared shower they were cuddled up as close as possible under the covers, holding onto each other tightly.

Ben froze when he felt Callum´s lips against his wrist, warm gentle kisses pressing against his pulse. He looked up at him, his eyes wide.

“Did you feel that? When you were out of it?”

A tear formed at the corner of Callum´s eye. 

“Yeah. Could hear you too. But I couldn´t move.”, he snivelled. “I tried to tell you not to worry, but I couldn´t.”

Ben looked at him in shock for a second before catching himself and cupping Callum´s cheek. 

“It´s okay.”, he tried to soothe him. “We´re okay.”

“Just wanted to hold you.”, Callum brought out as another tear rolled down his face, dropping onto the pillow.

Tightening his hold on him, Ben pressed a kiss to his hair. “Well, we have all the time in the world for that now. Cause I ain´t letting you go.” 

Callum buried his face in his chest, clinging onto him. 

They were still wrapped up in each others arms when the first beams of sunshine came through the window the next morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3 As always, I would love to hear what you thought here in the comments or over on tumblr @messedup22 :)


End file.
